By Ray Doolittle
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36
One of the most important roles of a parent - of any mommy or daddy - is to help their children know that they are safe, secure, and loved. It is hard to describe the mix of frustration, resentment, fear, and longing that arise in a young person when the parents do not fulfill this responsibility.
When I first became a guidance counselor, I expected to hear the
stereotypical high school complaints about parents: "My parents stink!
They took away my cell phone because I got two D's," or, "I can't believe my parents grounded me for that!"
What completely surprised me was the number of young people who come to me -- not to complain about their parents -- but to lament the fact that their parents won't be parents! What do I mean by that? Well, it seems like there is an epidemic sweeping the family these days. Perhaps it is the fact that the parents themselves never grew up, never "matured," for whatever reason. But many kids come to me, frankly, because they do not feel loved. And it's not because a "cell phone was taken away." In fact, many kids out there would welcome a mom or a dad who would even notice two D's on a report card. In reality, the kids do not feel loved because even at a tender young age, they realize that life is about choices, and day after day, year after year, they watch their parent choose something or someone other than them. Maybe it's alcohol or drugs; maybe it's mom or dad's newest "significant other"; maybe it's hobbies; or a hundred other things like friends or the bar or simply lying on the couch. Sometimes, it's even a seemingly responsible pursuit like a career. Nevertheless, it is heartbreaking when a casualty of these things is the tender young heart of a child, wanting so desperately to be noticed and loved, yet feeling like little more than an inconvenience in their parents' lives.
Sometimes the effects of this "neglect" are easily noticeable, like a young person weeping over the fact that he is sinking seriously into drug addiction, yet his parents are too wrapped up in the same lifestyle to stop him. Other times it's less visible, like the young girls who turn to boys and promiscuity to find the love that Dad never provided. In addition, there are those times when the effects are almost invisible, like the young person who leads a seemingly picture-perfect life of good grades, sports, and extracurricular activities, and yet there is that inescapable voice in the back of their head saying, "You're not loved; you're not worth it; you're not good enough; you have nothing to offer."
It's not hard to imagine why many people want little to do with "God the
Father." In so many cases, their earthy representation of a "Father" or a
"parent" has let them down time and time again. And not even necessarily through the horrible physical or sexual abuse situations that make the news. Years of feeling unloved -- as if they were a nuisance in their own house -- has locked their hearts in a prison from which they are trying to escape. And the kids are searching for whatever "key" will set them free: the "key" of getting drunk or high to escape the pain for a little while; the "key" of finding the right boy or girl to "love" them; the "key" of being so successful that they will finally prove their worth to someone...
But those keys never work.
Jesus said in John 8:36, "If the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." There is the key for all of us. Nothing in this life or in this world will ever fulfill us -- will never "set us free" -- like the love of Christ. Certainly not the sins of drugs or illicit sex, but even "good" things like success or the love of a parent or spouse are only pale representations of the pure, perfect, holy love that Jesus Christ has in store for us when we allow him to free our minds and souls from these earthly trials and heartaches -- nothing can take the place of soaring with him beyond these prison walls. He is the key -- the only KEY.
Read John 8:31-47.
