His & Hers: What He Needs From Her (Questions for discussion & reflection)

Read Titus 2:3-5.

[Q] How does the biblical model of older women teaching younger women to love their husbands and children differ from what our culture typically believes about love?

Dr Emerson Eggerichs in his book Love and Respect relays the following story told by Pastor E. V. Hill,

When we were a young couple struggling in the ministry I came home one evening to a dark home, but Jane, my wife, was standing in the dining room with candlelight and a hot dinner! Wow! She had prepared this for the two of them. Before sitting down I decided to wash my hands in the bathroom. When I flipped the light switch, they did not come on. I realized the electricity had been turned off. When I returned to Jane, she began to cry. “You work so hard, and we’re trying,” she said, “but it’s pretty rough. I didn’t have enough money to pay the light bill. I didn’t want you to know about it, so I thought we would just eat by candlelight.”

With great emotion Dr Hill continued, “She could have said, ‘I’ve never been in this situation before. I was reared in the home of Dr Caruthers, and we never had our lights turned off.’ She could have broken my spirit; she could have ruined me; she could have demoralized me. But instead she said, ‘Somehow or other we’ll get these lights back on. But tonight, let’s eat by candlelight.’” (Eggerichs, 54).

[Q] What happens in the heart of a husband who is viewed by his wife as not being a good enough provider?

[Q] How sensitive was E.V. Hill to the thought that his wife might not respect his desire and ability to provide for her?

[Q] In the message His & Hers: What He Needs from Her, there are four needs every husband has; unconditional respect, support, companionship, and physical responsiveness. Define each of these terms in your own words.

[Q] Read Proverbs 31:10-31. How does the wife mentioned in this Scripture fulfill these needs in her husband?

[Q] Wives, think of one way you can show your husband that you are committed to helping him feel secure in his identity and in your relationship. What one way can you admire his skills as a husband and parent? Remembering that he thinks concretely, how can you make sure he knows you respect him, no matter what? Husbands, think through the same questions: How can your wife express her admiration for you? How can she demonstrate her support for you—even for some of your crazy ideas? How can she make it clear that she’s committed for the long haul—your whole life together as your companion?