In 1 Peter 5:2 pastors are instructed, “Shepherd God’s flock among you, not overseeing out of compulsion, but freely, according to God’s will.” This past weekend we observed the importance of shepherding, especially among new Christians by the example of Barnabas, who with Saul at his side, spent a year teaching (shepherding) the church at Antioch. (Acts 11:25) While in Antioch Barnabas “encouraged all of them to remain true to the Lord with a firm resolve of the heart” (Acts 11:23). The meaning of “encourage” (parakaleō) here includes both affirmation and exhortation.
The challenge, not just for pastors, but for all who desire to be encouragers is to know when to affirm and when to exhort. For example, there are occasions when the best way to encourage a fellow Christian following failure and sin is to remind him or her of 2 Timothy 2:12, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” On other occasions a more appropriate scripture is James 4:8-9, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! Be miserable and mourn and weep."
Immediately following the report of Barnabas’ message to the Antioch believers Luke describes Barnabas as “a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith” (Acts 11:24). Finding the right balance between affirmation and exhortation requires dependence on the Holy Spirit. It also requires wisdom. Listen to this interview of Mark Driscoll where he shares his thoughts on what he calls the use of tender and tough words. Men, pay special attention to his exhortation to husbands and fathers. A communication style that makes us effective at work, or in leading a Bible study might create unwanted distance between us and our wife and children.
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